Angie’s Accidental Murder

“It’s been a long day,” Angie said. “We’ll talk about this in the morning.”

“Oh, you end the conversation right now!” I said.

“There’s nothing left to say.”

“Nothing left to say?” I said. “Nothing left to say?”

Angie threw her hands in the air. “It’s not like you’re so perfect.”

“I didn’t kill anyone, Dear.”

“It was an accident,” Angie said. “I threw him in the back of my truck, and I headed home. All I ask is you help me dispose of his body.”

How did it happen again?” I cocked my head back and crinkled my eyes.

“Like I said — I was driving home, and he walked out in the street.” Angie raised then lowered her arms. “Just came out of nowhere.”

“You mean, he was crossing the street, and you hit him?”

Angie bites her fingernail. “You make it sound worse than it was.”

“You killed someone. That’s kind of a big deal.”

“He’s some homeless guy,” Angie said. “No one will miss him.”

I shook my finger. “I’ll help you, but don’t go bragging to your friends when you get plastered.”

Angie made a zipping motion across her lips.

“Grab his feet.”

“Now?” Angie yawned. “I’m tired as hell.”

“Yes now, you idiot!” I said. “What did you think we’re waiting until the morning?”

Angie shrugged. “Well, excuse me.”

We loaded the man’s body in the back of the truck to throw him over some out-of-the-way cliff. In Yakima, Washington, there were plenty of wide-open spaces to dispose of a body.

“You and you’re drunk driving,” I said.

Angie shifted her body to me. “I wasn’t drunk this time. I swear it.”

Angie’s tight-lipped stare convinced me she was telling the truth. We passed the Richland lake, but there were campers out there. So, we continued to Vantage to toss the man’s body over the edge of a cliff.

“I’m out of shape.” I heaved, lifting the man’s body. Dust hovered as the body rolled down the embankment. Angie clapped the dust off her hands.

“Let’s get out of here,” I said.

As we traveled back to the house, the ride was silent until Angie bursts out in laughter.

“I’m glad you think this is funny,” I said.

“No, I’m laughing at you, Dear.”

“Well, share it with the class; what’s so funny?”

“It was a mannequin, not a real body. I wanted to see if you’d do anything for me.”

“You mean, it was a cruel test?”

“Don’t find it funny?”

My unmovable eyes bulged when a grin tugged at the corner of my mouth. “You’re crazy.”

“And that’s why you love me.”

(Dusting off Dreams)

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