There’s nothing left to say, Brandi said.
Of course, there is, I said. It’s not like you’ve never stolen anything before.
Yeah, maybe something small.
Shhh. I placed my finger over my lips.
Afraid someone is going to hear us? Brandi said.
Goddamn, I hate your pious ass, I said.
Did you say one-hundred-thousand dollars? Brandi asked.
I nodded. Not so pious now, are you?
That’s more than enough to pay off our student debt!
Not so pious now, are you?
I’m going to call Maggie and tell…
Are you insane? We can’t tell anyone.
Yeah, right! I said.
What if I…
No, you’re not telling that bitch.
Where’s my wallet? Maggie said, shifting couch cushions.
So, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.
I guess I don’t understand, Brandi said.
I kinda dressed up like a woman to rob the bank and…
On, no, you didn’t fucking bring my purse.
I may or may not have left it with the teller. I shrugged. Oops.
You did what?
It was an accident.
The cops are outside, Brandi said.
How’d they find you?
I called them.
You set me up! You bastard.
Brandi cursed and struggled in the handcuffs as the police hauled her away.
The money is all mine.