“Who’s here?” I say, creeping through the house, reaching down the small of my back for my pistol. “Please answer me. Who’s here.” I glanced left, then right.
“It’s Santa Claus, muthafucka.”
“Okay, but it’s boxing day.”
“I forgot to bring you a present.”
“Who on earth is—”
“You asked for a woman, saying you were tired of being lonely. Remember?”
“Well, say hello,” Santa said.
I scratched the back of my neck. “Gee. I don’t know what to say.”
“Stop talking to me and talk to Angie.”
I choked back a giggle. “Hi, Angie.”
“Hello. Listen, I know this is kind of weird, but I live down the street and have been wanting to ask you out for about a year. What do you say?”
“Is this some kind of–“
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Angie said.